Titanic, Hindenburg, My Interview

As some of you may know I am currently looking for a new job in pharmaceutical sales. I have some pretty good connection that put in a good word for me at GlaxoSmithKline (GSK). GSK is the second largest pharmaceutical corporation in the world, just behind Pfizer. They are the big times. Well, they called me the other day to come on in for a "screening". Nothing major, not a real interview, just a "screening", they said. I translated that into "we just want to make sure you are not ugly and you can put sentences together without drooling". I felt pretty confident that this was just the first step in my many follow up interview with GSK.

I got there early, 9:10am. Two other jokers in black suits showed up about 10 minutes after me, just in time for me to size them up before I go in. Too fat, too bald, ran through my head as I smirked with confidence. "Next", they had called me into the board room. I felt like was sitting infront of Trump and hoping he wouldn't say "your fired". I was being interview by a pretty young lady and a older gentleman, both seemed very serious and too the point. They said "we just want you to go over your resume with us and put it into your own words." No problem, I have gone over my resume a million times, I made myself seem really smart, hard working, all the things that people want to hear before they put you to work. I work in a hospital and I told them that I deal with medications and drug reps quite frequently, which I do. So then they started drilling me with questions about the medications. I thought I handled them pretty smoothly until the final question. (I think it was the final question because I blew it so bad) The pretty lady asked "tell me how you would explain the side effects if I were a patient on your unit." 'Oh crap' I thought, I usually have a hand out to go by when I talk to my patients, I was flying solo here, no cheat sheets. So I started to explain a common drug used on our unit, Depakote. I started going over all the side effects that I knew about this medication, I said "it is an antipsychotic and it can cause weight gain, ah ah ah.... " (long pause, with me starting to sweat) The lady said "it is a what? an antipsychotic?" I went blank, I started to realize that I was describing Zyprexa, a drug of the same color. I was confused, was it Zyprexa (an antipsychotic) or Depakote(a mood stabilizer)? Which is which? They are both Purple!! Both of the hand outs look the same!! They are two very different drugs though...Which way to go? I could feel my face start to boil and turn red.... I wanted to say "you got me, you win, I blew it, thank you for your time, good luck with the brain teasers!" and run the heck out of there. After the long pause I sputtered out a few more generic side effects, "ah it can cause, ah diarrhea, ah, vomiting, and maybe some sleep disorders." That was the last question, they both looked at eachother and said "yeah, we will be in touch" I felt like a crook in an old movie when the cops come in and say "ok buddy, the jig is up" I felt like the wizard after Toto pulled back the curtain in Oz. I walked out of there praying the guys in the lobby pissed their pants, or shaved off there eyebrows or something, anything to give me a chance!

I will keep the people of this Blog posted. Who knows, maybe they want a guy that is willing to humiliate himself infront of professionals. I will be getting a call today. Wish me luck.