OK, I have been having one of those days. Much like the "Snow plow" story. I went to the gym this morning, like I do every morning. Which is another story all together, how I find the will power to keep dragging my lazy bones out of bed at 6:30am is beyond me. Back to the subject at hand, I was shooting around at the local fitness center when a couple of buddies suggested we play 21, the popular out of control basketball game of our youth. We started to play, my buddy Jason was guarding me, I had the ball I guess I was feeling kind of "and 1-ish" so I tried a really stupid move toward the basket, at the same time he lunged toward me to steal the ball. The end result is me on the ground with my face bleeding. We bumped heads and I have a gash over my left eye. Ok, it hurt, but no biggy. I figured I would just shower up and go to work. Well, the local "know it alls" in the locker room apparently can contribute a little more than just walking around naked showing off their saggy balls, one suggested I get the cut looked at because it could need stitches and may leave a bad scare.
Figuring this guy didn't get to where he was in the locker room hierarchy for nothing, I took his advice. I went to my local physician. She said I needed stitches, but she could not give them to me. That would take a whole new visit to the ER and a entirely new, larger co-pay. Sweet, thanks for charging me $106 to tell me I need stitches but you can't put them in. That is like charging me to tell me I am on fire but you can't put me out!
So off to the ER I go. They tell me it is going to be a whole other set of bills for them to put the stitches in, of course, why wouldn't it be. So I sit on my previously soiled ER bed and wait for my inadequately trained resident to sew me up like a Raggedy Andy doll. She said, "I am going to give you some local to numb the wound". I thought, sweet, no pain. Boy was I wrong. If somehow getting kicked repeatedly in the groin would have fixed my eye, I think that would have been less painful. I got three stitches and I felt every needle, every pull, every thread, I felt like Rambo in First Blood. Now mind you, this is after 5 liedacane shot, that obviously didn't work one bit. Every time she tried to give me a numbing shot it dripped in my eye and burned like a red head in the desert. To add insult to injury, no pun intended, the stitches are blue so I get every Tom, Dick, and Harry coming up to me and asking me "What happened". The stitches might as well be neon lights. I need to tape record this and just hit play.
I am at work now, so that doesn't make my day any better, but atleast I get to write it all down for you fine people. I don't want sympathy, just laughs.
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4 comments:
You have no sympathy from me since i have busted my head open too many times. I just can't believe the copay and all that!!! Aren't you part of a hospital, no free advice, no discounts, no coupons???? I have better insurance than that. Well hope you recover and have a nice big scar, but I am sure your wife is making you put Aveeno on it so it heals up without a scar!!!
Quentin...as much as it sucks, I have to say that this is your best written blog entry to date. I also see that Wilson has rubbed off on you.
Yeah, Borgess sucks, it doesn't care about its employees unless that employee is losing them money. The insurance is ok, they just gave me the run around and i had to pay for two co-pays. ER visits are $50 alone and then 10% on top of that. so it will be about $200 when it is all said and done i think. and Dan, thanks for the complement. weird, becuase i wrote this one really fast and didn't really think too much. And yes, I am sure Wilson is having his effect. I have learned he is a pretty amazing guy, and I would not mind if I aspire to be like him someday. With out the accent.
Hey Quentin, that sucks that you had to get stitches - your blog was very amusing describing it though, you made it sound funny and got some good laughs from me.
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