Titanic, Hindenburg, My Interview

As some of you may know I am currently looking for a new job in pharmaceutical sales. I have some pretty good connection that put in a good word for me at GlaxoSmithKline (GSK). GSK is the second largest pharmaceutical corporation in the world, just behind Pfizer. They are the big times. Well, they called me the other day to come on in for a "screening". Nothing major, not a real interview, just a "screening", they said. I translated that into "we just want to make sure you are not ugly and you can put sentences together without drooling". I felt pretty confident that this was just the first step in my many follow up interview with GSK.

I got there early, 9:10am. Two other jokers in black suits showed up about 10 minutes after me, just in time for me to size them up before I go in. Too fat, too bald, ran through my head as I smirked with confidence. "Next", they had called me into the board room. I felt like was sitting infront of Trump and hoping he wouldn't say "your fired". I was being interview by a pretty young lady and a older gentleman, both seemed very serious and too the point. They said "we just want you to go over your resume with us and put it into your own words." No problem, I have gone over my resume a million times, I made myself seem really smart, hard working, all the things that people want to hear before they put you to work. I work in a hospital and I told them that I deal with medications and drug reps quite frequently, which I do. So then they started drilling me with questions about the medications. I thought I handled them pretty smoothly until the final question. (I think it was the final question because I blew it so bad) The pretty lady asked "tell me how you would explain the side effects if I were a patient on your unit." 'Oh crap' I thought, I usually have a hand out to go by when I talk to my patients, I was flying solo here, no cheat sheets. So I started to explain a common drug used on our unit, Depakote. I started going over all the side effects that I knew about this medication, I said "it is an antipsychotic and it can cause weight gain, ah ah ah.... " (long pause, with me starting to sweat) The lady said "it is a what? an antipsychotic?" I went blank, I started to realize that I was describing Zyprexa, a drug of the same color. I was confused, was it Zyprexa (an antipsychotic) or Depakote(a mood stabilizer)? Which is which? They are both Purple!! Both of the hand outs look the same!! They are two very different drugs though...Which way to go? I could feel my face start to boil and turn red.... I wanted to say "you got me, you win, I blew it, thank you for your time, good luck with the brain teasers!" and run the heck out of there. After the long pause I sputtered out a few more generic side effects, "ah it can cause, ah diarrhea, ah, vomiting, and maybe some sleep disorders." That was the last question, they both looked at eachother and said "yeah, we will be in touch" I felt like a crook in an old movie when the cops come in and say "ok buddy, the jig is up" I felt like the wizard after Toto pulled back the curtain in Oz. I walked out of there praying the guys in the lobby pissed their pants, or shaved off there eyebrows or something, anything to give me a chance!

I will keep the people of this Blog posted. Who knows, maybe they want a guy that is willing to humiliate himself infront of professionals. I will be getting a call today. Wish me luck.

Just Not My Day

OK, I have been having one of those days. Much like the "Snow plow" story. I went to the gym this morning, like I do every morning. Which is another story all together, how I find the will power to keep dragging my lazy bones out of bed at 6:30am is beyond me. Back to the subject at hand, I was shooting around at the local fitness center when a couple of buddies suggested we play 21, the popular out of control basketball game of our youth. We started to play, my buddy Jason was guarding me, I had the ball I guess I was feeling kind of "and 1-ish" so I tried a really stupid move toward the basket, at the same time he lunged toward me to steal the ball. The end result is me on the ground with my face bleeding. We bumped heads and I have a gash over my left eye. Ok, it hurt, but no biggy. I figured I would just shower up and go to work. Well, the local "know it alls" in the locker room apparently can contribute a little more than just walking around naked showing off their saggy balls, one suggested I get the cut looked at because it could need stitches and may leave a bad scare.

Figuring this guy didn't get to where he was in the locker room hierarchy for nothing, I took his advice. I went to my local physician. She said I needed stitches, but she could not give them to me. That would take a whole new visit to the ER and a entirely new, larger co-pay. Sweet, thanks for charging me $106 to tell me I need stitches but you can't put them in. That is like charging me to tell me I am on fire but you can't put me out!

So off to the ER I go. They tell me it is going to be a whole other set of bills for them to put the stitches in, of course, why wouldn't it be. So I sit on my previously soiled ER bed and wait for my inadequately trained resident to sew me up like a Raggedy Andy doll. She said, "I am going to give you some local to numb the wound". I thought, sweet, no pain. Boy was I wrong. If somehow getting kicked repeatedly in the groin would have fixed my eye, I think that would have been less painful. I got three stitches and I felt every needle, every pull, every thread, I felt like Rambo in First Blood. Now mind you, this is after 5 liedacane shot, that obviously didn't work one bit. Every time she tried to give me a numbing shot it dripped in my eye and burned like a red head in the desert. To add insult to injury, no pun intended, the stitches are blue so I get every Tom, Dick, and Harry coming up to me and asking me "What happened". The stitches might as well be neon lights. I need to tape record this and just hit play.

I am at work now, so that doesn't make my day any better, but atleast I get to write it all down for you fine people. I don't want sympathy, just laughs.

Led Zeppelin: Preachers or Prophets?

Ok, we all know about what is going on in New Orleans right now. Tragedy no doubt. I am not writing to make fun of that event in any way. But, I can't help think of Led Zeppelin every time I turn on CNN; for some reason I always think they will cut to a comertial with the song "When the Levy Breaks" playing in the background.
Did Led Zeppelin know something that we didn't when they wrote that song? Was that levy so obviously weak that a song had to be written about it before it broke? That is like Gordon Lightfoot writing the Edmund Fitzgerald before the ship went down!! Is this just coincidence?
OK, now that I asked all those questions, I will shed some light on this enigma wrapped in a mystery.
Led Zeppelin, being the super power they were, and are, obviously have greater abilities than any mere mortal. To tell you the truth, I would be down right flabbergasted if the levy in New Orleans didn't break in the hurricane, just because Led Zeppelin said it would in a song 25 years prior.
Nay sayers can claim what they want,... But for me and my house, we believe.
I could go on all day on this topic, but I must run. ... work work work